It gets better right ?
by SavingMyOwnLife
Summary: First ever fan-fiction . Just an idea that popped in my head this morning. Please be kind. TW self harm / rape . Callie Stef Lena.
1. Chapter 1

**C**allie woke up that morning to find Stef sat on the end of the bed stating at the wall opposite. "Morning." Callie said in a rather confused voice "morning sweetie me and Lena need to talk to you. So will you come straight down stairs once you have woken up properly? " Callie's head started to race what had she done then she remembered the night before.

Flash back

She felt so numb. Telling Stef and Lena about Liam was the worst possible idea ever yes she was hurting keeping a secret but at least she felt something. Now the truth was out she felt like something was missing from her body it was as if the secret had become part of her body. She sat in her & Mariana's room just staring at the scars on her wrist. Looking at the scars made her think of the euphoric feeling she use to get when she cut. She felt alive & untouchable. If you shed your own blood then nobody else can hurt you right? That's use to be her little mantra but then when she moved into the fosters it was different she saw how alive & happy these people were with just having each other. It was all a bit overwhelming at first but then she realized that this is how a family was meant to be. She didn't need to bleed to feel she just needed her family around her! But the urge to run in the bathroom and find something sharp was too strong, she couldn't fight anymore this was it she was going to relapse & there was nothing anybody could do about it. Not even a mama sandwich could fix the brokenness Callie was feeling right now! Slowly she stood up from the bed & made her way into the bathroom making sure the door was locked she turn to the cabinet where she knew the razor were kept. Quickly she flung open the cupboard door & started to empty the contents on to the bathroom floor. She finally found the pack of disposable razors. Just as she went to open the packet the door handle turned & Callie knew it wouldn't open but still she was terrified. Whoever was stood behind that door could ruin any chance of Callie actually feeling anything tonight. "Callie is you okay?" It was Lena. Fuck. Callie knew that Lena wasn't going to go away. "Callie please opens the door I just was to see that you are okay!" Callie panicked & knowing that she wouldn't have time to get the blade out the razor she looked around for something else to use. She saw the glass that was sat on the sink. The next thing Callie heard was a smash & looking down in the sink she saw the glass in pieces. She reached in the sink and pulled out a piece of the glass & quickly starts to slice the skin on her wrist.

Meanwhile Stef had heard the smashing of the glass downstairs and had raced upstairs to see what was going on. " Lena what's happening?" She asked her wife who was in the master bedroom searching the draws for something. "Callie's locked herself in the bathroom where is the spare key?" Stef realized the urgency of the situation & walked straight back out of the bedroom & with a swift kick to the bathroom door broke the lock. Lena followed hurt the bang of the Stef's boot against the door & ran towards the bathroom.

Callie had just made the deepest cut on her arms when the door flew open & revealed a rather concerned looking Stef and Lena. Stef was the first to spring into action moving forward towards Callie & grabbing hold of the piece of glass in Callie's now blood covered hand. "No don't take it away from me please " Callie pleaded her was just a whisper & if Stef hadn't been stood next to her she wouldn't have heard it. "Callie looks at me!" Stef was trying to pull Callie out the trance that she was in. As Callie's eyes met Stef's the teenager completely broke down.


	2. Chapter 2

Callie knew that she couldn't talk about the events of the night before .It would break her if she had to .She decided that the only way she would get out of this was to leave .She had made her decision. Quickly she walked over to the wardrobe that her and Mariana shared and pulled out the old green duffle bag. The bag had actually been stored away this was the only foster home Callie had actually felt safe enough to store the bag out of reach. In the other homes she usually kept the bag packed with a few essential such as toiletries just waiting for the foster parents to tell her it was time for her and Jude to leave. She felt completely with Stef and Lena she though it would be her forever home even though they were told it was only temporary. This was meant to be her happy ever after.

Pulling herself out of her thoughts Callie started to place random clothes out of the wardrobe into the bag. Once she had enough clothes she found a scrap of paper and a pen and wrote, " I'm sorry, Thank you for everything that your family has done for me but I just couldn't stay I had to leave. Please keep Jude and tell him that I tried and that I loved him. He deserves to be happy; he deserves to know what it is like to have a normal loving family. Once again thank you, Callie Oxo" Placing the note on the side Callie walked towards the door and took one last look at the bed she had slept in for the last 4 months. The safest bed she had slept in since her mother's death.

Stef knew Callie was planning something and decided to sit in the chair on the porch outside the front door. Stef knew Callie was struggling and her gut instinct told her that Callie would run and try to deal with this on her own. A few minuets later just as predicted Callie opened the door and began to walk out onto the porch. Duffle bag slung on her back ready to leave. Stef could see that the teen had tears running down her face. "Callie is this what you really want?" Stef asked her voice soft and not too loud to startle the teen. Callie looked at Stef and then just looked straight at garden gate. Callie's head screamed at her to run but hearing Stef ask that question made her think that maybe this is not the right thing to be doing. Callie took one last look at Stef the house and began to walk towards the garden gate.

Stef quickly jumped out of the chair she had been sat in and ran to get in front of Callie. One in front of the girl she engulfed her in a hug. "You don't have to run anymore I promise that no matter what is happening me and Lena will be there for you. We can work it out as a family and you are part of this family. The first day you walked into this house you became a member of the family. You became a Adams-Foster we don't need a signature or certificate for you to be one of use. Like momma always says its not DNA that makes and family it's love. And we love you unconditionally we always will. If you walk away from the its your choice but it will break mine and mommas heart to see you give up on us and yourself." By this point Stef had tears running down her face Callie just had a blank stare on her face . Stef took a step back so that she could see Callie's reaction to the next thing she said " Callie if you want to leave then I will call Bill to come and pick you up but please don't just leave, The streets are a dangerous place to live you know that right?"

Callie still didn't respond she just stood grounded to the spot. Stef knew she had to do something to break the emotional barrier that Callie had put up. Stef had to try something drastic. Moving to the side of Callie she took a deep breathe and said "Fine then just leave if that Is what you really want"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I am so so sorry about the long wait for an update and the shortness of this chapter. I have some personal things happening and there kind of getting in the way of things but i promise i will update the story every single day for the next couple of weeks :)**

Callie felt as if she had just been punch in the stomach. Stef had finally given up on her. Callie didn't know why it bothered her so much but it did. She was frozen to the spot she didn't know what she was doing or where she was going. Then she heard a different voice from behind her "Baby girl, Please don't leave. This family will be incomplete again if you leave." It was Lena and Callie couldn't ignore her. Lena reminded Callie too much of her and Jude's biological mother. She had a huge heart and smile. No matter what was going on Lena would always try to make her children happy. Callie turned around to see Lena stood with the scrap of paper in her hand and tears running down her face. "Callie you don't have to leave and you don't have to thank us for the things we have done for you because it's what parents are meant to do. And if you think we are just letting you leave then you have another thing coming. I know it hurts baby but this when we as parents try to love and comfort you enough so that it doesn't hurt too much! You are going through hell right now but I swear mom and me will hold on to you so you don't get lost on the way to finding a better place." Lena paused took 3 steps forward so that she could put her hands on Callie's shoulders. The teen was still facing away from Lena staring at the garden gate. Lena turned Callie around her love filled hazel eyes meeting Callie's confused ones. "Come on baby girl, come back in the house with momma and mom. This can be your happily ever after" Lena's voice nothing more than a whisper and rather broken.

Callie opened her mouth to say something but quickly closed it again. She looked at Lena and then Stef both were giving her a pleading look. "please tell us what you are thinking" Stef sounded as if she was going to cry. Callie took one look at Stef and she fell apart. Tears started to run down her face and she couldn't stop them. This place was different to the other foster homes she was actually treated like a daughter rather than a paycheck. Stef was the first to wrap her arms around Callie. Callie clung to the front of Stef's t-shirt like a life raft. Lena walked over to pair and pulled them both into a hug.


	4. Chapter 4

"Callie, Baby girl I need you to show me your arms." Callie quickly tugged on her sleeves pulling them over her hands. She rolled over on to her side so that she was facing away from Stef. If I can't see them they cant see me she thought to her self. Lena who was stood at the door way knew the teen was doing. Slowly she walked over to where her wife stood.

"Stef why don't you go and get the first aid kit?" Stef was about to argue with Lena when she got a look of "I know what I'm doing" off of her wife.

"Okay " Stef mumbled as she turned to walk out of the room.

Lena sat on the edge of the couch where Callie laid. "Bug can you please turn over so I can see your beautiful precious face?" Callie rolled back over to face her mama and place her head on Lena's lap. " If I share my scars with you will you share your scars with me?" Lena asked hopefully. Callie sat up and looked at Lena with a look of confusion. Lena answered this silent question by slowly lifting her sweatshirt over her head and placing it on the floor beside the sofa. She took hold of Callie's hand ran it down the inside of her left arm. Callie felt the raised part of Lena's skin. Line after line of raised scars littered the top of Lena's left arm. Lena actually knew what Callie was going through. "I'm sorry!" Callie managed to say before a fresh round of tears ran down her face. Lena gathered Callie up in her arms and started to rock back and forth trying to lam the teen down. Her breathing had turned into labored gasps.

"Callie you need to calm down sweetheart before you have a panic attack!" Callie released herself from Lena's grasp and threw herself on the floor. All Callie could think about was hurting her. She needed to she had hurt Stef and Lena by wanting to leave .She had hurt the only people that cared about her. In a moment of desperation Callie threw her head at the floor. Before she came into contact with hard surface she felt Lena's arms wrap around her waist and hold her in place.

"You don't need to do that. You don't need to hurt yourself. Whatever you are thinking you are probably wrong me and mom love you.' Lena whispered into Callie's hair as she tried to stop the teen from seriously injuring herself.

"Mama I'm tired. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. I don't want to fight no more. " Callie sounded like a five year old child when she said this. It broke Lena's heart hearing her daughter talking so broken and child like.

"You don't have to fight anymore I promise you that my sweat child" Lena's voice was breaking but she knew she had to be strong for Callie.

"Callie can I please see your arms?" Lena asked curiously Callie flinched at the mention of her own arms. "Please I just to check that their not infected or require stiches" Callie slowly reached for the hem of her long sleeve t-shirt and pulled it over her head revealing scars on both arms, her chest and stomach. At this point Stef walked back into the room with Band-Aids and the rest of the first aid kit.

Callie saw the look of concern and pity on Stef's face she turned around and climbed back into Lena's arm hiding her face in the crook of Lena's neck. Inhaling the smell of shampoo and spice. The smell comforted Callie.

"Callie can I please have one of your arms please?" Stef asked loud enough so the teen would hear her but not loud enough to scare her. Callie extended her left arm and Stef started to inspect her injuries. One both of her arms were bandaged up and the worst scars on her chest and stomach were covered by band aids Stef placed a kiss on the back of Callie head then pulled her and Lena into a strong embrace.

Lena had noticed that Callie's breathing had evened out and the teen was actually asleep she stood up with teen in her arms and placed a sleeping Callie on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her. Lena looked at Stef and the next words that came out of her mouth shocked her wife. "I don't know if I can be strong enough for our daughter because just talking to her and seeing the scars on her arm have made me feel like I want to relapse and it scare's me Stef!"

All Stef could think about was the first time she had found Lena self-harming.

**FLASH BACK**

Stef walked into the house after a long day at work expecting to find Lena un-packing boxes in the front room of their first house they had just bought. Instead she found the living room and the whole of the ground floor in darkness. She made her way to steps and called out Lena's name. Nobody answered then she heard sobs coming from the upstairs bathroom, Stef cautiously walked up the first couple of stairs and called Lena's name again. Still not getting no reply she hurried up the rest of the stairs and into the master bedroom. The sobs grew louder and Stef was now certain that it was Lena who was crying. Stef didn't even knock on the bathroom door she just walked straight in and the sight in front of her broke her heart. Lena was curled up on the bathroom with blood covering her left fore arm. Stef ran over to Lena and smothered her in a hug whilst trying to sit the brunette up.

"Babe, what happened?" The blonde asked her voice filled with concern and love.

"Nothing happened" Lena stated.

"Babe this isn't nothing "Then Stef realized that Lena's was still clutching the silver blade in her right hand. "Can you please hand me the razor you have in your hand?" She hoped that brunette would hand it over to her .

Lena took one look at Stef then one look at the blade before throwing the blade across the bathroom and breaking down into a fresh round of tears.

It had taken Stef over three hours to calm Lena down enough so that she could clean and bandage the self inflicted wounds. The next day they had sat and talked about it and Lena had explained that this was she coped with everything in her life. She used it as a way to remind her self that she was alive when everything got too numb or surreal. Stef remember the quote she had used "Life is like a rollercoaster that's going at three hundred miles an hour and sometimes you just need it to stop. You need time to breathe and once you have had a break then you climb back on and prepare fir the ups and down that you were heading for. Self-harm was Lena's release; It was Lena's break from the rollercoaster of life. When she could see the blood that meant that Lena could decide whether or not she wanted to get back on the rollercoaster. Cut a little deeper and that was it the ride was over but she could also patch herself up and rejoin the ride once again. Stef didn't really understand but she knew she had to be there for her girlfriend.

**END OF FLASH BACK**

"Babe you are stronger than that, I promise, when you don't feel as if you have the strength to fight anymore come to me and I will give you everything I have. I promise you I wont let you go back there. Like Gavin Degraw said I'll try forever I'm never gonna say surrender 'll get it if you need it I'll search if you don't see it You're thirsty I'll be your rain You get hurt I'll take your pain I know you don't believe it But I said it and I still mean it When you heard what I told you When you get worried I'll be your soldier" Lena smiled at Stef attempt to sing and pulled her wife into a kiss

"I love you Stefani Elizabeth Foster."


	5. Chapter 5

I am so sorry about the delay on this story I have just recently been made homeless again and this is the first time I have had internet connection since being thrown out of my flat, I have moved back into my parents place and I promise that I will try and update more recently.

The other children had come home from school and were doing their own thing. Callie was still asleep on the couch in the living room. Lena was sat on the couch opposite her just thinking about the release self-harm actually gave her. It was weird how she had gone 5 years without giving it a second thought but now having to try and help Callie with the whole thing had triggered her. It was all she could think about She knew that Stef would be disappointed with her if she relapsed but she didn't care right now. She had made up her mind she was going to cut and nobody would stop her. Quickly she pushed herself up off the couch and headed out of the living room and up the stair towards her and Stef's bedroom.

Lena walked through the bedroom and straight into the bathroom opening the bathroom cabinet. Her eyes scanned the shelves until she found what she was looking for. She reached forward talking hold of the metal object her hand was slightly shaking. She knew what she was doing was wrong. Sitting on the toilet seat she stared at the blade that now called her name. She rolled her pant leg up and made one single cut slowly watching the blood rise to the surface of her skin. Her heart seemed to slow down as her body was taken over by the euphoric feeling that the single cut gave her. She lowered the blade to her skin once again and made five deeper cuts. This time the blood was too much and Lena began to panic .She open the bathroom cupboard once again but this time to find the first aid kit to try and repair the damage that she had just inflicted upon her body. She took the gauze out of the box and then looked down at her leg blood still pouring out of the deeper cuts. She knew she had gone too far,

There was a light k nock at the door

"Lena, are you in there?" she heard Stef's voice from in the bedroom. Lena panicked she couldn't let Stef see her like this. It had been too long.

"Yes I will be out in a minuet I'm just on the toilet." Her voice was strong but not strong enough for Stef to be convinced that her wife was okay,

"Can I please come in I just need to see that you are okay." Stef's voice was laced with concern. She knew something was drastically wrong.

"Stef seriously I'm okay I am not a child I can look after myself!" Lena stop her voice from breaking. The words quickly turned into sobs. This was all that was needed for Stef to realize that Lena needed her. She opened the door and the sight of her wife sat on the bathroom floor bleeding tears streaming down her face was made Stef feel sick.

'Baby, what happened?" Stef stared at Lena but her wife did not make any attempt to reply or even acknowledge the words the blonde had just spoken.

Lena was still trying to cover the fresh cuts with gauze , she was failing miserably Stef realized this.

"Why don't you go and lay on the bed and I will sort your leg out?" Stef's voice was nothing more than a whisper.

"No , You cant see them , they are ugly and then you realize how ugly and screwed up I am . You will leave me and take the children because why would you trust a person who harms him or herself on purpose to look after children. I will be alone and …" Lena's rant was cut short when she felt Stef's hand on her chin. Stef took hold of Lena's chin and raised her head far enough so that she could look into her wife's eyes.

"I am never ever going to leave you I have been here before with you and I helped you to get through it . I promise you beautiful girl that I will do it all again. I will be here to hold you when everything hurts too much .As for taking the kids away I would never dream of doing such a thing, You have done nothing but love every single child that has walked through that door. You have shown those children what family actually means! Don't you ever think differently" Both women had tears running down their faces. "Now go lay on the bed I want to make sure that you are okay"

Lena complied to Stef this time and slowly stood up from her previous position and walked past Stef her eyes still fixated on the floor. She made her way over to the bed and laid down. She found a spot on the ceiling to stared at it trying to disassociate her-self from the situation.

Stef walked into the room with the first aid kit in her hand she knew exactly what her wife was doing.

"Love you don't have to do that you know it doesn't help. You have to talk to me about this you know the only way to solve a problem is to face it head on." The blonde still didn't get a reaction from the brunette.

Stef worked quickly but carefully on her wife's leg and after wrapping it in gauze she gently placed a kiss on Lena thigh and then laid down next to her wife . She took Lena's hand in her own and entwined their fingers.

"Its going to be okay I promise" Stef knew Lena probably wasn't to reply to her so was taken back when she heard Lena's timid reply.

" I am sorry, I was so weak you , I am sorry that I didn't come to you"

"Its okay babe, why don't you have a little rest whilst I sort the tea out I will shout you once its finished then we can talk after the kids have gone to bed."

"No !" Stef was taken back by the power in Lena's voice "Callie can't be alone tonight she needs to be with us , She need to sleep in here"

"Okay she can but we do need to talk about this at some point you know that right? "Lena slowly nodded her head and with that the conversation was over Stef stood up and walked around to the side of the bed leaning over to kiss Lena on the fore head.

"I love you Lena don't ever forget that."

I an once again sorry about the updates on this story and how rubbish this chapter is but i really wanted to post somthing so you guys didnt think i had a banded you. i love all the reviews and i promise there will be another update tomorrow :D


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